What am I even doing?

So I've sort of been through some serious life changes since enlightening my blog about my self diagnosis of APD. For example, I've completed several online personality disorder tests and come to the conclusion that as well as suffering from APD I also suffer from Narcissistic Personality Disorder, Histrionic Personality Disorder, a mild form of paranoia ad anti-social behaviour, obsessive compulsive tendencies and am, apparently, moderately Schizoid. I think I can definitely add hypochondria to my list of self diagnosed mental issues.

But on a more life changing note I have graduated high school, filled out (I'm not going to say sorted out because honestly, I wake up in the morning more often than not and ask myself why aren't I trying to bag me a rich man who will let me stay home for the rest of my life wearing pretty party dresses, baking and organising fundraisers for children in Africa) my QTAC preferences, gone to the Gold Coast for a week with no parental supervision, got literally swept off my feet on two separate occasions by shirtless, relatively attractive young man and got completely smashed to the point where I don't remember how I got to my bed or throwing up on one of my best friends.

Isn't life fantastic for me?

To be honest, I was expecting to feel a lot more than I am right now. I didn't cry at any of the school farewells but it's not like I was grinning like a loon either. I don't feel like I'm going to miss people, I know for sure that I'm not going to miss the workload but I think I will miss valid excuses for all-nighters that don't involve me getting out of my pyjamas (excuse me for enjoying night hours where I don't have to socialise- I am anti-social apparently). A week of solid social interaction has actually done me in and I'm dreading the thought of going out and socialising with some of my best friends tomorrow.

Thinking about this makes me realise that maybe I'm not histrionic. But then again I did decide that a blog post was necessary, that people would care and that my lack of strong emotions was actually a big deal. But that could just be the narcissism playing its own part in my everyday functions.

I don't think this blog made any sense whatsoever but I am beyond caring. Sam and Dean are calling me and demanding that I pay attention to their supernatural road trip. Fingers crossed more shirts are removed in this episode.