I normally enjoy the subject immensely but I have reached the end of my tether and now all I can do is dream of wrapping a rope around the subject's throat and pulling tightly until the only sound that remains is the sound of my own ragged breathing and grateful sobs that it is "finally over."
Extreme? Most definitely. But when you have to write a 1500+ word essay on a topic that will have very little research supporting it, because let's face it, America won't admit to its mistakes in the Vietnam War (I don't think many countries would but at the moment, that is entirely beside the point) I dare you not to feel this same frustration (especially when you know a lot thanks to general discussions with your teacher but it seems as though she has made up her information because it DOES. NOT. EXIST. ANYWHERE.)
Should I be working on it now? Yes. Will I? Probably not because I fear that it will result in the research book that is at least one third of my grade torn up by a blue biro.
But I will go before bad grammar can take over any more of this post. May the rest of your weekend be more enjoyable than mine.
Thursday, May 10, 2012
It's something that I should have realised long ago. It's clear as day or the colour of my hair to everyone else who has ever existed and I think that I have known about it for quite some time. I just never realised the extent of it.
It happened in the line at the tuckshop. I was busy contemplating what it was that I wished to consume for my midday meal when I felt a sharp tug on my hair. I quickly turned around, prepared to rage at the person behind me, when I stopped at the sight of my friend covering her mouth and trying not to laugh 4 people behind me while the girl from the junior school who unfortunately for her was behind me looked somewhat terrified. Now before you start thinking, "Is her realisation that she has anger issues?" I want you to stop. I actually don't. I have an annoyingly happy disposition most days of the month. My realisation came mere seconds after I realised that it wasn't the 13 year old girl that tugged on my hair and I called out to my friend, "You stupid cow! You nearly made me go Hulk on this girl!" I then turned and apologised to the girl and turned back to the front of the line.
Then it hit me.
The only way that I could refer to my rage was "nearly [going] Hulk on this girl." Yes, my friends, my realisation was that I am undeniably and irreversibly nerdy.
It isn't just this one reference either. I've known I was a bit geeky for a while. I browse the internet and have some major LOLs at cats and memes. I refer to funny things I find on the internet almost constantly. I browse web stores like thinkgeek.com all the time and think, "If only I had some more cash in my Paypal account, then I could buy the shirt from Shaun of the Dead." And have you noticed the amount of internet references here? If that doesn't say enough already then you my friend are also a nerd.
But it doesn't stop there. I saw The Avengers the first day it was in cinemas (the first session that that particular cinema was holding, in fact) and understood every reference to every film that preceded it. I clapped at the achievements of characters because they deserved it. And then I walked away contemplating character development and making excuses for Loki because God knows he needs psychiatric help.
Then there is the fact I am set to feature in my friend's upcoming documentary about books and the girls that read them. I am most excited and check into the Facebook page every day to hear the latest about amusing book related photos (found on the internet) and discuss childhood book, books that made me cry, fictional characters and what I would like to do to them (some will be my sex slaves and others will be bludgeoned to death with Twilight because they deserve no better)
I've read fanfiction. What makes this nerdier than it already sounds is the fact that most of it was Harry Potter fanfiction. Which makes me think of Harry Potter. Thankfully, I have surrounded myself with Harry Potter nerds so I had company when I dressed up as Sirius Black to see The Deathly Hallows Part 2 at midnight. I also make constant reference to the books or films whenever possible because I find it funny.
Other nerdy pursuits include collecting films, collecting books, making lists of things I own, things I would like to own, things I need to do and lists of my lists. I've also watched Sherlock, Doctor Who, Dark Angel and obsessed heavily over NCIS. And sadly, this is just the beginning. I'm writing a blog for goodness sake! I have been known to make up words, mentally date several celebrities at once and discuss Youtube subscriptions in person and then spend hours that evening watching videos and wondering how I got to that magical place on the interweb.
But I'm not ashamed. The thing I find most sad about this is that it feels like I've only scratched the surface of my nerdy/geeky behaviour and that I have so much more to share. I shall wrap it up here before I actually re-read what it says (despite having a reasonably high self-esteem, I am actually self aware and have the ability to be embarrassed.)
So this is me basically. I'm nerdy, fangirly and if anyone who reads this met me or knows me, they would probably say louder than expected. And because this is an undeniable truth, I endeavour to enjoy it.